


If I

by radiantnjm



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiantnjm/pseuds/radiantnjm
Summary: Jaemin never imagined the greatest thing that happened in his life would end like this. He never even imagined it ending, he thought his Jeno was everlasting. Apparently, he thought wrong.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Kudos: 5





	If I

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this on a whim one year ago so it's a bit rusty. english isn't my first language and this is my first work so please excuse my mistakes. enjoy, ig.

It was a Saturday evening and Jaemin was lying on top of his king sized bed covered with velvety sheets inside his penthouse on the 31st floor of one of his father's high-end hotels looking out at the night view of Gangnam. Lights after lights were aligned that distinguishing a building and a star was a hard task but to Jaemin, everything was dark. The last time he saw light was when Jeno gave him one last blinding smile before turning back with tears he tried so hard to keep flowing from his eyes, but Jaemin could not know that.

Jaemin never imagined the greatest thing that happened in his life would end like this. He never even imagined it ending, he thought his Jeno was everlasting. Apparently, he thought wrong.

With him sitting beside Jeno in his luxurious yacht gifted to him by his dad for his 18th birthday, both of them staring off at the sunset while Jeno tells him why they cannot be together, why, even after everything they've risked for their relationship, they will never pull through. As the sun kissed the water, they held their last kiss, no longer lovers but still overflowing with love for each other.

"I'm sorry" he voiced out. Jaemin wasn't even sure who he was talking to seeing as he's the only one in that ridiculously spacious room. It wouldn't have felt so big if he still had Jeno to share it with. Now, he had no one to share his life with. One thing he was sure of though is to whom he was apologizing to. He is sorry for not knowing what his mistakes were, for not working on them, for not improving himself, for letting Jeno just break up with him without any explanation, for letting Jeno go knowing he's the only one who loves him, for not fighting for what they had, for not knowing what made his perfect and patient Jeno give up on him. He is sorry for everything he knew and did not. He is sorry for not knowing what to do other than to be sorry.

On the other side of the city though, Jeno halts by an alleyway. The tears were blurring everything so he stopped to wipe them. Though Jaemin might be the most sorry person right now, he cannot compare to Jeno's heart that is filled to the brim with yearning of forgiveness. He is sorry for making Jaemin sorry, but was it his fault that he did not deserve Jaemin at all? Was it his fault that he cannot love Jaemin the way he deserves to be loved?

After all, how can he love someone as great and as perfect as Jaemin if he cannot even love himself?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
